Minute-by-Minute: A UFC 56 Log
Jake Rossen Nov 21, 2005
Despite the distance between myself (Northeastern schlub) and the
MGM Grand Garden Arena (Las Vegas), I may have had the best seat in
the MMA Media house thanks to UFC honcho Dana White reserving press
row for entities unknown.
That, along with an indispensable FauxVo digital recorder from Time-Warner, has allowed me to bring you the official, unofficial minutes from Saturday’s UFC 56 festivities. Consider it Sherdog’s version of 24, only on a much, much tighter budget.
10:00 p.m. The live telecast begins. Rich Franklin (Pictures) and Nathan Quarry (Pictures) make their cases for why they’re
prepared to bludgeon the other while Anonymous Roman Gladiator
suits up for the umpteenth time. I wonder if this guy gets
residuals.
10:03 p.m. Soul-patched Matt Vasgersian fills in for an absent Mike Goldberg. I Google Vasgersian and learn that he’s a controversial figure in the world of sports announcing, mixing in cultural references along with the play-by-play. He once broke into a Pearl Jam song during a Brewers telecast. I don’t like his face.
10:05 p.m. Riggs infers the scale was to blame, saying the “equator” was off. I’m not sure I trust his engineering opinion.
10:06 p.m. I’m surprised to hear Jeremy Horn (Pictures) vs. Trevor Prangley (Pictures) will be a main card attraction. Prangley’s smothering wrestling and Horn’s inability to defend the shot seems to foreshadow a fairly boring contest. And what’s with Horn going back down to 185? So long as he and Franklin refuse to fight, it’s an utterly pointless exercise.
10:07 p.m. Mike Goldberg voices the pre-fight video packages for Horn-Prangley, making his absence for the broadcast itself puzzling. Aren’t these recorded the week of the show?
10:08 p.m. I Google “Vince McMahon questioned disappearance Goldberg” and nothing comes up. Yet.
10:10 p.m. The crowd seems to be into Horn’s entrance. Are they responding to his valiant effort against Liddell? I’m not sure where else the casual types would recognize him from.
10:18 p.m. The first rounds ends, and it’s very close. Prangley scored a takedown, but he was unable to mount any significant offense, while Horn had three substantial submission attempts. I’d have to give it to Horn by a hair, but the wrestling-friendly UFC judges may disagree.
10:21 p.m. Diego Sanchez (Pictures) appears on the arena’s big screen and the crowd boos. One thing about 10,000 drunken Vegas hedonists: you always know where you stand with them.
10:24 p.m. Round two is in the bank. With no one having an advantage standing, Prangley scored three takedowns. On the third try, he was able to land some decent elbow strikes. I’d have to give it to Prangley. In his corner, Horn voices concern that he dropped the round.
10:24 p.m. Lee Majors (or his Madame Tussaud’s wax duplicate) is in the house. No sign of Oscar Goldman.
10:31 p.m. Round three ends. Prangley scored three takedowns amid a dead heat on the feet. I think Prangley earned a close decision, but I can’t imagine either guy being happy with their performance.
10:33 p.m. The crowd boos over the announcement of Horn’s decision win. It’s good to see judges pay less attention to position, but they may have been too generous here.
10:36 p.m. Lex Luthor appears in the Octagon to address the crowd.
10:36 p.m. Freudian typo. It’s Dana.
10:36 p.m. White formally announces the rubber match between Liddell and Couture. I fear Couture’s age has to be a factor by now, and I expect Liddell to knock him cold once again. If Couture remains true to his spoiler form, he’ll make me look like an idiot come February.
10:37 p.m. White introduces Frank Mir (Pictures) and promises his return in 2006. I sincerely hope they don’t expect him to fight Andrei Arlovski (Pictures) in his first bout back. Word is that Mir cannot change levels anymore and is working on upper body throws in order to get to the ground. That sounds ominous.
10:38 p.m. Ken Shamrock (Pictures) is announced as a coach of the third season of The Ultimate Fighter. A solid choice, considering the horror stories that have come out of the Lion’s Den about his maniacal training attitude. This guy is going to make Bobby Knight look like a puss.
10:39 p.m. Predictably, the opposing coach is Tito Ortiz (Pictures), who strolls out to a chorus of boos. I don’t think we’ve seen a face-heel turn this dramatic since Hulk Hogan died his face stubble black. Ortiz appears to be giving us his best “Blue Steel.”
10:39 p.m. Security has to intervene when Shamrock hams it up and confronts Ortiz, apparently enraged over his very existence. I hope the WWE theatrics don’t infect the promotion in the long term.
10:40 p.m. B.J. Penn (Pictures) makes his way to the Octagon. Somewhere, the Devil is putting on a parka.
10:47 p.m. Sean Sherk (Pictures) and Georges St. Pierre (Pictures) prepare to mix it up in what I consider the real main event of the evening. I respect Sherk’s tenacity, but his rogue’s gallery has been largely mediocre and he’s been on the shelf for some time. If St. Pierre could outwrestle both Trigg and Hughes, I can’t see Sherk controlling him.
10:55 p.m. Round one ends, and it saw St. Pierre score a takedown and land numerous strikes. Sherk is outclassed here.
10:59 p.m. St. Pierre ends it by pummeling Sherk from within his guard, splattering his nose across his face. Sherk’s reach guarantees he’ll never be a threat to anyone standing, and his dense build seems like it could allow for a drop to 155. It may be interesting to see a third bout between him and Karo Parisyan (Pictures) first, though.
11:01 p.m. “I want da belt so bad! Give eet to me!“ St. Pierre gets down on his knees and begs the UFC for a title match. Like Couture, it’s impossible to dislike this guy. There is no more deserving contender right now. Let Penn and Parisyan vie for the next slot.
11:03 p.m. The camera pans to an anonymous blonde in the crowd who bears a passing resemblance to Tara Reid. Since she’s not lying face down in a pool of her own vomit, it can’t be her.
11:05 p.m. Riggs boasts of his submission and grappling acumen, which is odd considering he’s practically removing organs in order to drop weight and have every advantage possible.
11:17 p.m. Hughes submits Riggs with a Kimura in what would’ve been his eighth overall UFC title defense. That’s staggering considering the cyclical nature of MMA and the elite fighters Hughes faces consistently. For my money, he’s the greatest fighter to ever step into the Octagon.
11:21 p.m. Ron Wood of the Rolling Stones is spotted in the crowd. He looks surprisingly spry for a guy born during the Truman administration.
11:27 p.m. Vasgersian mentions Kevin Jordan (Pictures)’s non-existent resemblance to Sam Jackson, prompting Rogan to wonder if Vasgersian thinks all black people look alike. Jimmy the Greek rolls over in his grave.
11:34 P.M. “What the deuce?“ Gabriel Gonzaga threatens with the butt scoot, prompting Vasgersian to work in a labored Family Guy quote.
11:35 p.m. Round one ends between Jordan and rookie Gonzaga, with both men lumbering through a slow-paced ground game. As in his bout with Paul Buentello (Pictures), Jordan doesn’t seem to have any gas tank whatsoever. The guy is just patently not UFC material, but their anemic heavyweight division has been his saving grace.
11:35 p.m. Stephan Bonnar (Pictures) and Forrest Griffin (Pictures) are shown cavorting in the audience. When Bonnar realizes he’s on camera, he gives Griffin the finger and then pretends to fart in his face. I imagine Griffin and Bonnar Meet Frankenstein can’t be far behind.
11:40 p.m. Gonzaga and Jordan pay homage to Shamrock-Severn II by doing absolutely nothing, prompting referee Herb Dean (Pictures) to admonish them in the center of the ring.
11:45 P.M. Forced to fill dead air, Rogan addresses Wesley Snipes and asks him to “sign the contract,” giving credence to a bizarre Internet rumor. I distinctly remember Jean-Claude Van Damme proclaiming his intention to fight in K-1 earlier this year. Apparently, threatening to fight is the new PR move for ailing action heroes. I don’t doubt Rogan would do it, but I have to assume Snipes is blowing smoke to get some press. Label this one Vaporware, right along Tyson-Sapp and Rickson-Anyone.
11:47 p.m. Gonzaga salvages his UFC career by clocking Jordan at the tail end of the fight, breaking his face open for the KO.
11:55 p.m. The UFC pays some bills by broadcasting a preview of Aeon Flux, a Godawful looking sci-fi flick starring Charlize Theron. Has Barb Wire taught us nothing?
11:57 p.m. Quarry and Franklin trade verbal barbs in the video package. Franklin’s KO at the hands of Ryoto Machida (Pictures) — who couldn’t make a dent in the undersized B.J. Penn (Pictures) — leads me to believe there might be something to Quarry’s claim that Rich has a weak chin.
12:00 a.m. The UFC asks various fight celebrities for predictions on tonight’s main event. They include the Aeon Flux model, and I’m not quite sure whether they realize they’re making a joke. She likes Franklin by “hotness” in the first. Sadly, that’s a more astute observation than some fight pundits are capable of making.
12:04 a.m. The size difference between Franklin and Quarry is appreciable during the stare down. I suddenly become concerned for Quarry’s chances.
12:11 a.m. After knocking Quarry down once, Franklin launches a definitive left hand that sends Quarry stiffly to the mat and into the UFC’s highlight reel in perpetuity. Was Quarry ready? In hindsight, it wouldn’t seem so, but guaranteed fights for champions and a shortage of valid contenders mean that UFC matchmaking is more a process of elimination than anything. David Loiseau (Pictures) seems like the most appropriate opponent for Franklin‘s next defense, and he should prove to be far more competitive.
In all, it was a night that is likely to be remembered more for the UFC’s announced plans for 2006 than the one-sided marquee bouts. Vasgersian was surprisingly well informed in UFC minutiae — whether that’s due to diligent research or genuine interest is unknown.
St. Pierre-Penn seems like an inevitable bout in the coming year, regardless of whatever else the two accomplish.
While the chest-thumping theatrics of Ortiz and Shamrock should provide ample entertainment during the third season of Ultimate Fighter, their rematch will be a dud.
As for Dana White burying the hatchet with Penn and Ortiz? Business is business. With a Stateside monopoly, the UFC could afford to be callous with the talent. But with new players looking to enter the scene, a discarded fighter could wind up drawing both dollars and eyes away from the Octagon.
Ultimately, Buentello’s plea to “stop the bullshit” during Jordan-Gonzaga could also apply to the UFC’s business dealings. Here’s hoping it lasts.
That, along with an indispensable FauxVo digital recorder from Time-Warner, has allowed me to bring you the official, unofficial minutes from Saturday’s UFC 56 festivities. Consider it Sherdog’s version of 24, only on a much, much tighter budget.
Advertisement
10:03 p.m. Soul-patched Matt Vasgersian fills in for an absent Mike Goldberg. I Google Vasgersian and learn that he’s a controversial figure in the world of sports announcing, mixing in cultural references along with the play-by-play. He once broke into a Pearl Jam song during a Brewers telecast. I don’t like his face.
10:04 p.m. Vasgersian and Joe Rogan discuss the failure of
Joe Riggs (Pictures) to make 170 pounds for his
title-fight against Matt
Hughes (Pictures). In a non-title contest, his 171
pounds would have been sufficient, making the controversy much ado
about nothing. I wonder if the drama has gotten to Riggs’s head, if
it’s hard to stay motivated when you know a win can’t result in the
belt.
10:05 p.m. Riggs infers the scale was to blame, saying the “equator” was off. I’m not sure I trust his engineering opinion.
10:06 p.m. I’m surprised to hear Jeremy Horn (Pictures) vs. Trevor Prangley (Pictures) will be a main card attraction. Prangley’s smothering wrestling and Horn’s inability to defend the shot seems to foreshadow a fairly boring contest. And what’s with Horn going back down to 185? So long as he and Franklin refuse to fight, it’s an utterly pointless exercise.
10:07 p.m. Mike Goldberg voices the pre-fight video packages for Horn-Prangley, making his absence for the broadcast itself puzzling. Aren’t these recorded the week of the show?
10:08 p.m. I Google “Vince McMahon questioned disappearance Goldberg” and nothing comes up. Yet.
10:10 p.m. The crowd seems to be into Horn’s entrance. Are they responding to his valiant effort against Liddell? I’m not sure where else the casual types would recognize him from.
10:18 p.m. The first rounds ends, and it’s very close. Prangley scored a takedown, but he was unable to mount any significant offense, while Horn had three substantial submission attempts. I’d have to give it to Horn by a hair, but the wrestling-friendly UFC judges may disagree.
10:21 p.m. Diego Sanchez (Pictures) appears on the arena’s big screen and the crowd boos. One thing about 10,000 drunken Vegas hedonists: you always know where you stand with them.
10:24 p.m. Round two is in the bank. With no one having an advantage standing, Prangley scored three takedowns. On the third try, he was able to land some decent elbow strikes. I’d have to give it to Prangley. In his corner, Horn voices concern that he dropped the round.
10:24 p.m. Lee Majors (or his Madame Tussaud’s wax duplicate) is in the house. No sign of Oscar Goldman.
10:31 p.m. Round three ends. Prangley scored three takedowns amid a dead heat on the feet. I think Prangley earned a close decision, but I can’t imagine either guy being happy with their performance.
10:33 p.m. The crowd boos over the announcement of Horn’s decision win. It’s good to see judges pay less attention to position, but they may have been too generous here.
10:36 p.m. Lex Luthor appears in the Octagon to address the crowd.
10:36 p.m. Freudian typo. It’s Dana.
10:36 p.m. White formally announces the rubber match between Liddell and Couture. I fear Couture’s age has to be a factor by now, and I expect Liddell to knock him cold once again. If Couture remains true to his spoiler form, he’ll make me look like an idiot come February.
10:37 p.m. White introduces Frank Mir (Pictures) and promises his return in 2006. I sincerely hope they don’t expect him to fight Andrei Arlovski (Pictures) in his first bout back. Word is that Mir cannot change levels anymore and is working on upper body throws in order to get to the ground. That sounds ominous.
10:38 p.m. Ken Shamrock (Pictures) is announced as a coach of the third season of The Ultimate Fighter. A solid choice, considering the horror stories that have come out of the Lion’s Den about his maniacal training attitude. This guy is going to make Bobby Knight look like a puss.
10:39 p.m. Predictably, the opposing coach is Tito Ortiz (Pictures), who strolls out to a chorus of boos. I don’t think we’ve seen a face-heel turn this dramatic since Hulk Hogan died his face stubble black. Ortiz appears to be giving us his best “Blue Steel.”
10:39 p.m. Security has to intervene when Shamrock hams it up and confronts Ortiz, apparently enraged over his very existence. I hope the WWE theatrics don’t infect the promotion in the long term.
10:40 p.m. B.J. Penn (Pictures) makes his way to the Octagon. Somewhere, the Devil is putting on a parka.
10:47 p.m. Sean Sherk (Pictures) and Georges St. Pierre (Pictures) prepare to mix it up in what I consider the real main event of the evening. I respect Sherk’s tenacity, but his rogue’s gallery has been largely mediocre and he’s been on the shelf for some time. If St. Pierre could outwrestle both Trigg and Hughes, I can’t see Sherk controlling him.
10:55 p.m. Round one ends, and it saw St. Pierre score a takedown and land numerous strikes. Sherk is outclassed here.
10:59 p.m. St. Pierre ends it by pummeling Sherk from within his guard, splattering his nose across his face. Sherk’s reach guarantees he’ll never be a threat to anyone standing, and his dense build seems like it could allow for a drop to 155. It may be interesting to see a third bout between him and Karo Parisyan (Pictures) first, though.
11:01 p.m. “I want da belt so bad! Give eet to me!“ St. Pierre gets down on his knees and begs the UFC for a title match. Like Couture, it’s impossible to dislike this guy. There is no more deserving contender right now. Let Penn and Parisyan vie for the next slot.
11:03 p.m. The camera pans to an anonymous blonde in the crowd who bears a passing resemblance to Tara Reid. Since she’s not lying face down in a pool of her own vomit, it can’t be her.
11:05 p.m. Riggs boasts of his submission and grappling acumen, which is odd considering he’s practically removing organs in order to drop weight and have every advantage possible.
11:17 p.m. Hughes submits Riggs with a Kimura in what would’ve been his eighth overall UFC title defense. That’s staggering considering the cyclical nature of MMA and the elite fighters Hughes faces consistently. For my money, he’s the greatest fighter to ever step into the Octagon.
11:21 p.m. Ron Wood of the Rolling Stones is spotted in the crowd. He looks surprisingly spry for a guy born during the Truman administration.
11:27 p.m. Vasgersian mentions Kevin Jordan (Pictures)’s non-existent resemblance to Sam Jackson, prompting Rogan to wonder if Vasgersian thinks all black people look alike. Jimmy the Greek rolls over in his grave.
11:34 P.M. “What the deuce?“ Gabriel Gonzaga threatens with the butt scoot, prompting Vasgersian to work in a labored Family Guy quote.
11:35 p.m. Round one ends between Jordan and rookie Gonzaga, with both men lumbering through a slow-paced ground game. As in his bout with Paul Buentello (Pictures), Jordan doesn’t seem to have any gas tank whatsoever. The guy is just patently not UFC material, but their anemic heavyweight division has been his saving grace.
11:35 p.m. Stephan Bonnar (Pictures) and Forrest Griffin (Pictures) are shown cavorting in the audience. When Bonnar realizes he’s on camera, he gives Griffin the finger and then pretends to fart in his face. I imagine Griffin and Bonnar Meet Frankenstein can’t be far behind.
11:40 p.m. Gonzaga and Jordan pay homage to Shamrock-Severn II by doing absolutely nothing, prompting referee Herb Dean (Pictures) to admonish them in the center of the ring.
11:45 P.M. Forced to fill dead air, Rogan addresses Wesley Snipes and asks him to “sign the contract,” giving credence to a bizarre Internet rumor. I distinctly remember Jean-Claude Van Damme proclaiming his intention to fight in K-1 earlier this year. Apparently, threatening to fight is the new PR move for ailing action heroes. I don’t doubt Rogan would do it, but I have to assume Snipes is blowing smoke to get some press. Label this one Vaporware, right along Tyson-Sapp and Rickson-Anyone.
11:47 p.m. Gonzaga salvages his UFC career by clocking Jordan at the tail end of the fight, breaking his face open for the KO.
11:55 p.m. The UFC pays some bills by broadcasting a preview of Aeon Flux, a Godawful looking sci-fi flick starring Charlize Theron. Has Barb Wire taught us nothing?
11:57 p.m. Quarry and Franklin trade verbal barbs in the video package. Franklin’s KO at the hands of Ryoto Machida (Pictures) — who couldn’t make a dent in the undersized B.J. Penn (Pictures) — leads me to believe there might be something to Quarry’s claim that Rich has a weak chin.
12:00 a.m. The UFC asks various fight celebrities for predictions on tonight’s main event. They include the Aeon Flux model, and I’m not quite sure whether they realize they’re making a joke. She likes Franklin by “hotness” in the first. Sadly, that’s a more astute observation than some fight pundits are capable of making.
12:04 a.m. The size difference between Franklin and Quarry is appreciable during the stare down. I suddenly become concerned for Quarry’s chances.
12:11 a.m. After knocking Quarry down once, Franklin launches a definitive left hand that sends Quarry stiffly to the mat and into the UFC’s highlight reel in perpetuity. Was Quarry ready? In hindsight, it wouldn’t seem so, but guaranteed fights for champions and a shortage of valid contenders mean that UFC matchmaking is more a process of elimination than anything. David Loiseau (Pictures) seems like the most appropriate opponent for Franklin‘s next defense, and he should prove to be far more competitive.
In all, it was a night that is likely to be remembered more for the UFC’s announced plans for 2006 than the one-sided marquee bouts. Vasgersian was surprisingly well informed in UFC minutiae — whether that’s due to diligent research or genuine interest is unknown.
St. Pierre-Penn seems like an inevitable bout in the coming year, regardless of whatever else the two accomplish.
While the chest-thumping theatrics of Ortiz and Shamrock should provide ample entertainment during the third season of Ultimate Fighter, their rematch will be a dud.
As for Dana White burying the hatchet with Penn and Ortiz? Business is business. With a Stateside monopoly, the UFC could afford to be callous with the talent. But with new players looking to enter the scene, a discarded fighter could wind up drawing both dollars and eyes away from the Octagon.
Ultimately, Buentello’s plea to “stop the bullshit” during Jordan-Gonzaga could also apply to the UFC’s business dealings. Here’s hoping it lasts.
